Geek on Stun

It's A Sega Christmas Miracle!

Wow! We thought the Get Ready line of t-shirts from The King of Games was dead! Or a one off! Or a dream! BUT WE CHECKED THE KING OF GAMES WEB SITE THIS WEEK AND FOUND OUT IT'S ALIVE/CONTINUING/REALITY!

The King of Games made the Space Harrier 20th Anniversary shirt over a YEAR ago but now they're doing two more shirts!

They're doing Out Run! And Fantasy Zone!

Here's the Out Run one! Again! It comes in two colors! Two!

And this is the Fantasy Zone one! Flatter than in the other shot! And *IT* comes in two colors, too!

In light of this VERY IMPORTANT NEWS we sent an excited e-mail to the English speaking person at The King of Games asking if they'll sell these on the online shop! And they wrote back! And they said...

they said...

THEY SAID! THEY'RE TALKING! TO SEGA OF AMERICA! AND MAYBE! THEY'LL! SELL! THEM! IN! AMERICA! *!!!!!*

And the English speaking person at King of Games said that the "Get Ready lineup" is "expanding" and "we're hoping to get these available ASAP" which was clarified as "Hopefully in early 2007." And he said "I'll keep you posted."!!!! US! He's going to keep US posted.

Available ASAP!!! WE WANT TO UNDERSCORE THAT! _ASAP_!!!

We really hope Sega of America doesn't go around FUCKING UP EVERYTHING that we like as it seems to be their corporate mission statement lately (for the past 5 years about). We might have to just put our head in the oven if we can't get these t-shirts in an ASAP/early 2007 fashion.

Real information that is important and doesn't require exclamation points or dumb character speak:

• They're both 5040 yen which is about $43 according to Google and also a BARGAIN


• They'll both be open for ordering on January 7 but JUST for from KOG in Japanese (but Shop 33 also carries Get Ready after a while)


• They come in XS, S, M, L which are more equivalent to American sizes despite what people tell you because we bought the Get Ready 00 shirt in a Medium and it was TOO BIG so we need a small which is what we normally wear so order what you normally wear

Get Ready Sega T-Shirt Collections Update With Out Run and Fantasy Zone

This *MIGHT* Be Christie's Vagina In Dead Or Alive Xtreme 2

We're not sure. Look.

It's hard to see there.

Look closer.

It might be a Photoshop job, but you can look at the big version here for a long time and decide for yourself.

REASONS WHY IT MIGHT BE REAL
1. It looks shaved. This is something Team Ninja would insist upon.
2. It looks clean and symmetrical. Like D-cups with seams on the top, Team Ninja would think this is how vaginas should look.
3. It's Dead or Alive Xtreme 2, a HORRIBLE SHIT game with no redeeming qualities that is quite broken and unplayable, but if it had carefully modelled vagina, people would buy it.

REASONS WHY IT MIGHT BE FAKE
1. Team Ninja couldn't even get the ankles right so they obviously can't be bothered to spend time modeling a vagina.
2. It's too good to be true. Nothing good like this happens. Probably just a poor modelling job and bad lighting.
3. We bought the first one and don't want to buy the second one, but reason #3 in the last list might apply to us.

Verdict: REAL.

Please don't try and convince us otherwise.

Inis Made Elite Beat Agents T-Shirts!

This photo from an EXCLUSIVE party held prior to the Tokyo Game Show shows Inis developers wearing Elite Beat Agents t-shirts! Inis made Gitaroo Man and Osu! Tatakae!! Ouendan so these are definitely the best t-shirts ever about a Nintendo DS game! The shirts are available in midnight, lime, and banana!!!

Here are some detail shots of the print:

Black. Definitely the one we'd get if we could get it.

But we're sure you can't buy these anywhere. :( Some real game journalists probably got them for free and are now using them to wax their cars. If Chris Kohler got one, it's probably still in plastic on a stack of other great things he gets.

That's the greenish one. We'd like to have it but would never wear that.

We'd have really liked to go to this party. Maybe we should tell the game journalists and Sony people we've talked to face to face that we do this web site and that invites to these parties should also be copied to us. Maybe we ought to skip the part about this web site.

And that's the yellow one. Just not right for our tone (we're a "winter"). But we'd still take it! If you have extras, let us know. NO ONE COULD POSSIBLY APPRECIATE IT MORE THAN US. NO ONE.

Fuck. They Made Godfather The Game Shoes Now.

We should really stop reading High Snobiety, because it's 99% depressing. If we didn't have some weird obsession with buying t-shirts and hoodies, we'd never have to read people praising Godfather The Game sneakers.

Who Knew There Were Godfather The Game Jeans?

Sadly, us.

This is the first pair of video game jeans we've ever seen (we're sure Invader made some jeans, with that tired Invader schtick). They're also the first set of jeans to make us sad. Not because we spent $200 on them (we didn't), but just because they exist.

We hate people who put little outfits together like they're little boys where their hats and jeans match. And we hate big white t-shirts that make adults looks like toddlers. And we hate Nikes. Especially ones that have "EA" embroidered on them. Who but some clueless EA executive being exactly the white man that black comedians are when they act like white men would ever put these on? We suppose someone who follows "street fashion" so closely they don't know they look like an asshole when they get dressed.

Fortunately, this is one of those "exclusive" collaborations written like "EA X The Year Of..." (the people who made these awful jeans) and we hope it's so exclusive that adult babies who want things like this in "mint condition" never actually wear them out of the house.

Sony, Europe, Sony Computer Entertainment Europe A Bunch of Cunts

Important Notice: Lik-Sang.com Out of Business due to Multiple Sony Lawsuits
Tue Oct 24 2006 21:58:51 Hong Kong Time - Corporate Info

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - OUT OF BUSINESS NOTICE

Hong Kong, October 24th of 2006 - Lik-Sang.com, the popular gaming retailer from Hong Kong, has today announced that it is forced to close down due to multiple legal actions brought against it by Sony Computer Entertainment Europe Limited and Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. Sony claimed that Lik-Sang infringed its trade marks, copyright and registered design rights by selling Sony PSP consoles from Asia to European customers, and have recently obtained a judgment in the High Court of London (England) rendering Lik-Sang's sales of PSP consoles unlawful.

As of today, Lik-Sang.com will not be in the position to accept any new orders and will cancel and refund all existing orders that have already been placed. Furthermore, Lik-Sang is working closely with banks and PayPal to refund any store credits held by the company, and the customer support department is taking care of any open transactions such as pending RMAs or repairs and shipping related matters. The staff of Lik-Sang will make sure that nobody will get hurt in the crossfire of this ordeal.

A Sony spokesperson declined to comment directly on the lawsuit against Lik-Sang, but recently went on to tell Gamesindustry.biz that "ultimately, we're trying to protect consumers from being sold hardware that does not conform to strict EU or UK consumer safety standards, due to voltage supply differences et cetera; is not - in PS3's case - backwards compatible with either PS1 or PS2 software; will not play European Blu-Ray movies or DVDs; and will not be covered by warranty".

Lik Sang strongly disagrees with Sony's opinion that their customers need this kind of protection and pointed out that PSP consoles shipped from Lik-Sang contained genuine Sony 100V-240V AC Adapters that carry CE and other safety marks and are compatible world wide. All PSP consoles were in conformity with all EU and UK consumer safety regulations.

Furthermore, Sony have failed to disclose to the London High Court that not only the world wide gaming community in more than 100 countries relied on Lik-Sang for their gaming needs, but also Sony Europe's very own top directors repeatedly got their Sony PSP hard or software imports in nicely packed Lik-Sang parcels with free Lik-Sang Mugs or Lik-Sang Badge Holders, starting just two days after Japan's official release, as early as 14th of December 2004 (more than nine months earlier than the legal action). The list of PSP related Sony Europe orders reads like the who's who of the videogames industry, and includes Ray Maguire (Managing Director, Sony Computer Entertainment Europe Ltd), Alan Duncan (UK Marketing Director, Sony Computer Entertainment Europe Ltd), Chris Sorrell (Creative Director, Sony Computer Entertainment Europe Ltd), Rob Parkin (Development Director, Sony Computer Entertainment Europe Limited), just to name a few.

"Today is Sony Europe victory about PSP, tomorrow is Sony Europe’s ongoing pressure about PlayStation 3. With this precedent set, next week could already be the stage for complaints from Sony America about the same thing, or from other console manufacturers about other consoles to other regions, or even from any publisher about any specific software title to any country they don’t see fit. It’s the beginning of the end... of the World as we know it", stated Pascal Clarysse, formerly known as the Marketing Manager of Lik-Sang.com.

"Blame it on Sony. That's the latest dark spot in their shameful track record as gaming industry leader. The Empire finally 'won', few dominating retailers from the UK probably will rejoice the news, but everybody else in the gaming world lost something today."

CUNTS.

FUCKING CUNTS.

Man Realizes PSP Is Worthless, Has No Games, D-Pad Is Shit

And decides that the most he'll get out of it at this point is to make an omelette with his PSP inside and sell it on Yahoo Auctions.

It's really kind of appetizing, but once you realize the games take forever to load and that Street Fighter Alpha Max 3 is basically unplayable and that the battery doesn't last more than a 2 hour flight... well anyone who owns a PSP knows this feeling. You just kind of give up.

He really did cook it. And you have maybe a few more hours to buy it. But he won't ship internationally and its already up to 7140 yen which is still too much to pay for the PSP.

It can't possibly work at this point because the thing is so delicate that it needs to be handled with silk gloves and placed into its charging womb and kept from direct sunlight or the screen (the only good part) with melt and get more stuck pixels. But at least if you win you get a box and a memory stick and another battery in case you buy another PSP and have a 3 hour flight somewhere.

"My Wife's Nintendo Panties"

...is the subject line of an e-mail we got at our other job that had this attached. The other site decided not to post it but we REALLY like Nintendo anything and will post anything Nintendo if no one else has.

We consider it one of those "free" updates where we have to think even less because we don't have to make some remark about how we'll be wanking to this because its just understood.

THANK YOU FOR READING OUR VIDEO GAMES WEB SITE.

Tokyo Game Show - Even Worse Than E3!

Why do we go to this shit? You think it's going to be "fun" and that you'll be playing video games before everyone else and eating bean filled buns and drinking fun sodas and Fibe-Minis and getting massages from girls in short skirts that have Sega written on them. But it's more like this.

Seriously, its just a sea of black haired IDIOTS carrying Blue Dragon bags as big as their apartments that you need to elbow off the Armored Core 4 kiosks to find out the game sucks like all the other ones. We didn't even play any video games for the first two days! :(

They wouldn't even let us play Sonic on the Wii which is the only game we wanted to play the whole time! And when you do get to play a game its after waiting in line for 30 minutes. Then it turns out you were waiting for this.

WE COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT!

But it wasn't all bad. We went to Beams and bought an Every Extend Extra t-shirt.

And we went to WOMB where we saw Shinichi Osawa who's in Mondo Grosso who are in Lumines, so it was video game related.

And we ate at the upscale MosBurger with Brian Ashcraft. His hair still looks pretty good but he made us stay at a SHITTY HOTEL.

But then we had to "work" and got suckered into thinking that "4D" games would be really amazing. But it turns out you have to put on plain old 3D glasses and then they never explain how it's 4D because no one speaks English.

And you go to the merchandise area and see things like this Rio cup which makes you sad.

At first you think it might be fun and kitschy because she's obviously blowing that straw but if you drink out of it you're automatically gay because you have the other end of the mental penis in YOUR mouth now.

But there are some good cosplayers there. Like this Parappa. Even though she's built like a boy and we saw our share of depressing cartoon dog porn, we still managed to squeeze in a wank to this.

And LOTS to this.

But this Morrigan turned out to have a penis and not in a fun, sexy manga way. He did this unsettling flowy twist with his arms right before we took this picture and we started to worry he was doing some gay curse on us.

Still, we got to go to a lot of parties where people paid for us to eat their food and drink their alcohol and play their videogames.

BUT WE'RE NEVER GOING BACK. EVER.

A Shirt We Like For People We Hate

We're actually at about 70% liking it because the graphic is good and it doesn't have a "funny" message.

But it's obviously not for us, as it only comes in M-XXXXL (not a typo) and we're birdchested and scarecrow-esque. This is for the "urban" crowd into toddler culture. We're more into pre-adolescent culture which involves a deep love for video games, comic books, toys, metal, shame and still finding girls confusing.

Plus its got some message that probably means you're in a gang and would want to steal our new wallet.

If you want it its from Palis and its $48 and you can buy it on the internet.