Geek on Stun

Post Katamari Damacy Release Syndrome

Apparently, Katamari Damacy, the amazing, I-can't-stop-playing ball rolling mind-scrambler, is sold out everywhere. I went to my local EB Games store for the first three days of its release, only to be denied a copy each time. I wound up visiting five retailers this past Saturday before securing the game.

Now, the only people lighter on smarts than I am (for not pre-ordering a copy) are the people paying well over 50-percent of the retail price on eBay right now. That's forgivable, I suppose. I hate to wait. However, the pure shit-for-brains buyers at EB and Gamestop just can't be pardoned.

Now let me get this straight. You didn't purchase enough copies to satisfy the market demand for the next four days? I can't believe it. The glass cases at the downtown EB were packed solid with inexcusable amounts of software diarrhea like Catwoman and Asterix & Obelix: Kick Buttix. Did any retailers send a rep to E3? Have they been reading any respectable gaming sites over the past few months?

I've run into a similar problem before. It wasn't too long ago that I was told by a Gamestop salesperson that they were sold out of Burnout 3. This was on day one. I'll admit that my experience as a software buyer is minimal, but come on, people. Is it really that hard?

The good thing about the lack of foresight here is that Katamari Damacy is getting some post-release press. Hopefully, more people will pay attention to this title amid the rest of Namco's dull, corny releases.

More TGS Madness

The Tokyo Game Show is just ridiculous this year. So much goodness is pouring out of the Makuhari Messe. While there seems to be little in the way of innovation or originality, the yearly dump of sequels is still moderately interesting. There's a bit of bad news at the end of this list so I'll soften the blow with some delicious eye candy!

• The official Wanda and the Colussus Web site has updates galore: screenshots of the environment and the giant statues as well as a minute long trailer.
• Video of Lumines. Sadly, there is no sound. Skip to the 3:40 mark and see if you can figure it out.
• That Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater trailer has had an unfortunate side effect: me considering another Metal Gear purchase against better judgment. Plus it has monkeys spanking themselves.
• Konami's upcoming digital jerkfest Rumble Roses is responsible for this fun snap and the new screenshot of the moment.
• Speaking of jerking it, here are your requisite armies of uniformed hot and wholesome product girls.
• Man, I cannot wait to get a Nintendo DS! I can play hangman?! I can send farting poodle drawings to my buddies when I'm at a hot spot? SIGN ME THE HELL UP! Seriously, guys. Where are the fucking games? Shouldn't there be a solid line-up eight weeks before launch?
• Finally, Gran Turismo 4 will not be playable on-line. But, you will be able to drive by suggestion with the new B-spec mode and take gay little pictures of your car. God, that's way better than racing on-line.

Multiples

Gradius V is simply amazing. I finally spent a few hours with this game last night and I am now completely hooked. The thing is damn hard. Not quite Ikaruga hard -- I made it to the third chapter after 4 attempts -- but it's no pushover. The variety and control on multiples (those satellites orbiting Vic Viper) are sublime. I was also pleasantly surprised to hear some classic Life Force music nods

If you have any interest in arcade-style shooters, this is a must have.

TGS OMG!

I just missed TGS when I was in Japan last year by a handful of hours. It still kind of hurts.

This year is shaping up to be one of the most interesting shows in a long time and it has yet to formally start. The big news items are that new Playstation 2. That's really cute and all Sony, but it should have included a special port that can fuck Final Fantasy XI players in the ass. Nintendo also released the super ultra final (for real, they swear!) details on the Nintendo DS.

That's just message board fodder. You know what's far more exciting? This single screenshot.

Rez creator Tetsuya Mizuguchi, Q Entertainment, and Bandai have released exactly that much info on their new project: Lumines. The "sound and light action puzzle game" looks very intriguing (personally) and has virtually guaranteed my purchase of a Sony PSP.

I'm with you Mizuguchi. All the way.

This Is Important

McDonalds Counter Strike is my favorite video since the last amusing video I watched. Thank the Lord for dorks!

BUZZ!! You there?

It's crazy out there. But with all the craziness going on in the universe, let's not allow a very important release slip by us today. Katamari Damacy should be showing up at your retail location of choice today. And before you write it off as Japanese quirk with simple gameplay mechanics, just think about all those shitty games you've been buying at clearance prices this summer. This one is only twenty dollars new! And it's actually good.

I'm guilty, I'll admit it. I have a copy of I-Ninja I'll never touch again. It's right next to my copy of Metal Arms: Glitch in the System, which has yet to be violated by a laser beam. Look. Just do as I say, not as I do. Go get Katamari Damacy today.

But don't take my copy or I'll cut you.

Hell of 1000 Dusty Games

There are only 99 shopping days until Christmas, but it's this September that's hell on this in-debt gamer's wallet. I just picked up Silent Hill 4, Burnout 3, and Astro Boy: Omega Factor. Gradius V just hit, and Donkey Konga, Blood Will Tell, Star Wars: Battlefront, and Katamari Damacy will all be released before the end of September. It hurts so good.

I'm almost done with Astro Boy, which I've found to be satisfying, quality fun, but maybe not as interesting as I was led to believe. It's a fun little action title, but nothing more than that. With little to look forward to on the GBA horizon, it may be time to check out some of the back catalog.

The only solid amount of time I get to invest happens during my commute to and from work. This means I typically squeeze every bit of content out of my portable game library. At home I usually get an hour or two every few days to play console titles, which pretty much guarantees I tune out when I read about 40-plus hours of game play. I need something I can pick up and put down within the hour, and most of my prospective purchases fall into that category.

When I read about short games (10 hours or less to finish) I don't shun them. I welcome them. I have a job, a girlfriend, and disposable income. I just don't have the time to play through another padded, poorly written RPG.

It comes down to boredom, mostly. There are far too many me-too sprawling, epic, collect-a-thon, third-person action/adventure games. Let's have more shooters, more music games, and more bite size gaming, please.

Warcraft Tactics

Dumb IM's happen instead of work sometimes.

Larzon: WHINE ABOUT WORLD OF WARCRAFT NOT BEING OUT: damn....i wish WoW was out...this bites....i wanna play WoW....Sims 2 is fun though....but I can't wait for WoW
Geek: I just heard they cancelled WoW
Geek: its not coming out
Larzon: DAMN!
Geek: it just wasn't shaping up like they had hoped
Larzon: boy thats strange....seemed like it was ready for release when i played....i'm surprised they would flush all that work down the toilet
Larzon: i guess i'll go kill myself
Geek: thats a little extreme
Larzon: true....maybe i'll just play The Sims 2 instead
Geek: yeah... Blizzard announced they are working on Warkraft Kart now
Larzon: i want a Warcraft Platformer where you go around collecting Warcraft paraphernalia
Larzon: Warcraft 64
Larzon: that would be freaking awesome Blizard roxorzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Geek: they also registered Warcraft Party as a trademark
Geek: so, that must be coming soon
Larzon: i hear thats a great party game
Geek: I can't wait to have my buddies over and, after the ball game, talk trash over some Warcraft Party
Larzon: you know what else is good...Samba de Warcraft
Geek: I could really use a little Typing of the Orcs right about now
Larzon: better yet....slap on a headset and talk to your buddies over Xbox live
Larzon: go ahead.....slap it on
Geek: I'd need to plunk first
Larzon: pull a plunk & slap combo
Geek: I love that platformer... Plunk & Slap
Geek: the anthropomorphic dollar bill and headset that travel the countryside talking trash
Larzon: which one is silent with only facial expressions and which one is annoying from the first second you see him?
Geek: the headset is the silent one
Geek: oddly enough
Larzon: WOW! THAT IS GREAT!!!
Larzon: that type of pairing never fails
Geek: yeah... I love the LCD display tapping mini game from Plunk & Slap
Larzon: is there a femal dollar bill love interest?
Geek: well, its a Susan B. Anthony coin actually
Larzon: nice...that is rock solid game design
Geek: yep
Geek: Plunk & Slap... I'm selling this idea to EA right now

Wanda and the Colossus

Sony Computer Entertainment Japan announced earlier today the new title from the development team responsible for one of the best Playstation 2 games, ICO. Named Wanda and the Colossus, the game appears to be more action-oriented than the groups previous effort.

Additional shots from Famitsu (full story), as well as developer feedback, imply that the hero (not the titular heroine - ed.) will fight on foot, on horseback, with sword, bow and arrow and will confront the Colossi in the air, on the earth and under water.

The Colossi appear to be the actual "levels" or playfields themselves, as indicated by this screenshot which shows the protagonist climbing the arm of one of the giants, as well as these older shots that show the massive size and impending beast-dispatching money shot. Stumbling through the Japanese interview also indicates that the Colossi bodies will contain the clever puzzle solving and platforming that ICO was famous for.

Wanda and the Colossus is scheduled for a 2005 release. Woot.

That's Just How They Roll

Japan wins again. They just know how to promote their shit. What do you get in the US? The occasional bonus soundtrack, demo disc or extra large t-shirt. It's better than nothing, but it's no Dororo sword promo.

See, Hyakkimaru of Dororo (Blood Will Tell) fame doesn't have any hands. He has two swords at the end of his forearms. You don't have to be an amputee fetishist to appreciate the clever promotion here. And they only made one.

Can you imagine being that guy? The guy who gets his mitts on the single promotional sword hand? You wear that sword hand all the time. Salary men will try to fork over tens of thousands of yen to get their drunk-in-public hands on that sweet one-of-a-kind goodness, but he'll be like "Sorry, I won this sword hand, and I'm not giving it up". He'll never have it so good.

Anyway, Sega may be putting out some real dreary software as of late, but they haven't given an inch on the marketing front. They have a real stinker on their hands in Sega Superstars. This Eye Toy title has virtually nothing going for it. It's the same tired gameplay from Eye Toy: Play, but with a number of Sega properties (Samba de Amigo, Virtua Fighter) slapped on.

So what does the Japanese super-publisher do when saddled with this kind of garbage? You bring out the promotional big guns:

Yeah! Sugar! Hyper cute Japanese super idols in the Sega corporate blue and white. I just put my pre-order in.

All Filler, No Killer

You know its a slow news week when the Mature rating for Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne is front page news. Damn! Soapbox style update out of nowhere!

• I sure wish I had spent some time with Vet Emergency 2 over the past few months, as I probably could have drained all that pus out of my cat. Maybe I should really start investing some time in other Legacy Interactive titles, you know, in case I have to solve and prosecute a homicide any time soon.
• Acclaim went bankrupt and 1UP sends them off with a feature on the Top Ten Worst Acclaim Games of all time.
• And while you're waiting for 1UP to load (it could be a few minutes), read Gamespot uber-editor Greg Kasavin's take on the death of Acclaim.
• Quote: "It represents a revolution in the gaming industry as it is focused on a long neglected market segment: women."
• I bought Astro Boy: Omega Factor today and put a fiver down for Donkey Konga. I also played a ridiculous amount of Guitar Freaks last night at the Good Time Emporium. It was the perfect evening, in that I didn't get shot.
• ICO sequel announcement coming? So they say!
• People buying N-Gages Maybe sidetalkin' really is a history.
• Finally, admit you have nothing to do on Friday night and watch the PBS special The Video Game Revolution.

Until next time, true believers.