October 31, 2005
Shadow of the Colossus Upskirt Perversion
This is the sort of Japanese weblog behavior that just makes us sick at heart. Must we look up every dress? Can't we keep this sort of behavior limited to mall escalators and workplace bathrooms? We honestly don't mind if you disassemble your girl capsule toys to *critique* the underwear paint application but this is TOO MUCH.
You're ruining the ART GAME sanctity here, people! The untainted love story (or whatever happened) of this game is totally tarnished now.
What's even more disconcerting is that we NEVER get a clear panty shot here. There's a bit of a dark spot here but that's obviously a shadow and not VIRGINAL WHITE, CLEAN COTTON UNMENTIONABLES.
WTF, UEDA? Give your Japanese fans *something* to do in the bits between boss fights.
(There are various horse mounts that the author probably didn't think to employ to get that perfect between-arch peek that would offend us SO much. We'll go home and test our theory with our new video capture card.)
The First Thing That Makes Us Want An Xbox 360
And, we can't believe we're typing this, but it's FRAME CITY KILLER. That's that boring looking, cliche-ridden, third-person, action adventure, free-roaming godawful Namco crap with the guy in the horrid glasses. Namco decided to drop a MAJOR bomb on us by supporting capsule toy collection in-game!!!
Haha! Look at all the mystery toys!
Capsule toy collection is one of our Achille's heels (we have two -- the other being those Japanese fried pork cutlets) and although we have virtually no interest in playing this game WE ARE FORCED TO GET IT.
It reminds us of when we played Shenmue up until the point when Yu Suzuki thought it would be a great idea to have us WAIT to take a bus to the dock warehouse to WAIT for the supervisor to show up so we could DRIVE A FORKLIFT, rearranging palettes. This was the moment when we realized the ONLY thing we liked about Shenmue was getting our pittance of a per diem that we always spent on Sega capsule toys.
THIS IS GOING TO BE "FUN" JUST LIKE THAT!
October 26, 2005
Get Ready 20th
We got the level out for this one because we need to keep it STRAIGHT. This is serious business.
King of Games, in conjunction with Editmode Graphics, will kick off the new "Sega T-Shirt System" line with the 20th anniversary Space Harrier t-shirt package entitled Get Ready. TOMORROW, people. This is the date that the Sega Ages 2500 version of Space Harrier ships, which contains the arcade version, the Master System/Mark III version, Space Harrier 3D and the Genesis/Mega Drive sequel.
Here's what lucky Japanese Sega fanboys well into their thirties will get their polite hands on for the LOW price of 6500 yen.
The Shirt
It's got Binzbeans on the front! Unfortunately everyone we know will think these are 20-sided dice and assume there are white wolves or orcs on the back.
And it's got LOTS of nerdy stuff on the back! You can barely make out the sit-down Space Harrier cabinet behind the level names. Simpletons will appreciate the bad English.
The Puzzle
This would look great strewn about our coffee table! RIGHT, SWEETIE?!
The Whole Package
Oh man, that Get Ready sleeve is just a perfect GORGEOUS fit for all that SUPER RAD stuff.
Who will be nice enough to get us one of these? We'll pay you back. Promise.
October 21, 2005
Halloween Disaster Averted!
After failing to sufficiently bulk up for our Strider Hiryu costume this year (AGAIN), we've had to pursue other ideas. We considered Albatross from Rolling Thunder but we didn't want to have to explain that one to any girls.
Fortunately we came across this while trolling the internet for pictures of fit Morrigan cosplayers.
We STILL have to decide whether we're going as a Man Eater Chest or a Mimic, but we'll surely figure it out a few hours before our Halloween party.
October 19, 2005
Two Things We're Going To Get Around To Now That We've Got The Proper Tools
1. Smoking
We tried this once when we were about 10, but we wound up vomiting on Mom's back after smoking an entire pack in about 2 hours. Now we're back on it because nothing says SUPER LAID BACK COOL like smoking a cigarette that you've just lit with a Dragon Quest lighter!
Loose women who are into violent coughing can e-mail us to schedule a detached hang out session.
2. Business
We are so getting business cards for our business!
A Balloon Fight business card holder is perfect for our weekly NETWORKING meetings and validating our PRESS CREDENTIALS! See you non-professional, uncool LOSERS later.
October 13, 2005
Now This Is More Like It!
This is the kind of photo op that we LOVE. Shadow the Hedgehog in a Cobra Twist?! Probably suffering immeasurable pain, mere millimeters from permanent paralysis? This is way better than that stupid electronic musical group that wrote that stupid song about Shadow!
Oh crap. We just read the article.
Apparently Shadow is in no real danger at all. This is just some promotional tactic to sell the awful game to people who like watching wrestling.
Nevermind. :(
October 12, 2005
Prince Of A Pouch
Namco, you sons of bitches! You're going to milk this Katamari thing for all it's worth, aren't you? We SO weren't planning on buying the THIRD Katamari game for the PSP because we keep hearing it sucks and we are ever so slightly bored and annoyed by the SECOND.
However!
The black-hearted Namco of Japan marketing team's Prince of Cosmos PSP pouch.
Now we are FORCED to purchase an import copy of Boku no Watashi no Katamari Damacy at a PREMIUM to calm our useless video game trinket jitters.
WE HATE YOU, NAMCO. *SOB*
October 11, 2005
Horrible Japanese Pop Act Loves Horrible Japanese Mascot
Which puts the number of non-Sega employees that LOVE Sega's anti-hero hedgehog thing at a very respectable TWO! Congratulations, Sonic Team!
PEACE! NO.... WAIT. FRESH!!!
That's m-flo! You know them, right? ☆Taku and Verbal? Sure you do. If not, when m-flo's solid gold mega hit "Tripod Baby (SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG MIX)" figuratively BLOWS UP THE CHARTS, you can then say you heard mention of it here first!
Keep up the good work boys! We're already salivating over the prospect of a Shadow the Hedgehog 2!
*SALIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE*
October 10, 2005
Final Fantasy vi Remake
This is another one of those "We really tried hard NOT to post this one" but it was keeping us up at night. We apologize ahead of time.
Ugh. Here it comes. Seriously, it's no Marios. 64. and new readers who've never seen a low quality update like today's will be tempted (or convinced) to remove this site from their bookmarks if they continue. You should probably just go off and read something smarter.
First screenshots of the Final Fantasy vi remake.
Again - SORRY. We'll hurry up and find some semi-funny Nintendo merchandise and post that.
October 04, 2005
Marios. 64.
We're bored.
EDIT: Here's the PSD if you're into that sort of thing.