Geek on Stun

We Went To E3. Again.

And it was AWFUL! We had to go to the Sony press conference and sit through over an hour of some sort of talk about the AWFUL PlayStation 3 and BORING PSP before they let us use the margarita dispensing device.

BEST HARDWARE OF SHOW

We're so pleased with ourselves that we were too lazy to write that post about how much we loved the PlayStation 3 because we hate it now! We really dodged a bullet.

Then we didn't get invited to the Nintendo one. The ONLY ONE we wanted to go to, but no. Nintendo only liked us for a few months in the summer of 2005, but we made ONE too many masturbation jokes and they dropped us.

We also had to go the PATHETIC Microsoft press conference and listen to them go on about some Live thing for our cell phone. This is the worst idea ever! We also knew Halo 3 was going to be announced but we don't care! Halo is BORING.

We left the theatre and saw this adult baby putting on his SCARY FACE!!! We called our parents and told them how much we love them and how much we appreciated not being abused.

OOOOH! SO SCARY!

Then this homeless Pikachu asked us for a few dollars after we took its picture. We gave it two then went back to our hotel and washed up.

Please buy Pokemon Diamond and Pearl.

But it wasn't all bad. We got to eat at In 'N' Out Burger something like six times in seven days. We ate french fries with Brian Ashcraft.

He's not losing his hair. It's our shitty camera.

And we saw Toshihiro Nagoshi on the floor and thought about telling him how much we liked Monkey Ball and how much we were looking forward to Yakuza, but we got scared that he might not speak English. So we took this and ran off.

At first we thought that was a leather jacket. But it had a face!

And we took comfort in the fact that we flew a thousand miles to get there and knew that we could play Gauntlet at home. On MAME. On our PlayStation.

And we could do it without wearing matching button downs.

Obligatory shot of someone playing old games at E3 which confounds everyone who didn't get to the show.

But out of all the people we met (including that hack Igarashi!) our proudest moment was when Itagaki realized it was us snapping his pic. He grabbed our camera and posed with us. We made the mistake of touching his back and he elbowed our arm away with disgust.

See? Disgust.

It wasn't that bad really. We got to play Guitar Hero II and God Hand and Dead Rising and got really really drunk and other people paid for it.

Street Culture *AND* Digital Lifestyle? Sign Us UP!

FINALLY. THANK YOU, Atari, for bringing our favorite things together!

HOT PXL, the ingenious and hip new title, brings fast and furious bite-size gaming to the masses. HOT PXL comprises more than 200 deviously crafted mini-games based on a unique and original story premise that draws inspiration from street culture and the digital lifestyle – whether it’s blasting through an old-school style video game, busting tricks on a skateboard or a BMX, stage-diving at a concert, or just trying to cross a busy digital street. The game’s web site, www.hotpxl.com, will serve as an integral part of the experience and the community. HOT PXL is being developed by zSlide.

Old-school! Busting tricks! Stage diving! Trying to cross a busy digital street! It's just so FURIOUSLY INGENIOUS and DEVIOUSLY HIP! What else could we ask for?! Oh right! Screenshots!

HOT PXL: Obligatory hoodies for STREET CRED.

HOT PXL: DJing, of course.

HOT PXL: TATTOO CULTURE and THONGED ASS so we'll have something to wank to.

HOT PXL: We really have NO IDEA. But we're sure the game involves some TXTing from yer crew and gobs of counter-culture bullshit and probably an all-star hip hop soundtrack!!! Yay!

(Look for us at E3 thumbing the fuck down out of this game at the Atari booth!)