Geek on Stun

Please, Stay In Vegas

And we're back. During our scheduled downtime (we were reading other Web sites! - ed.), Capcom held a "Gamers Day", which seem to be very fashionable these days. We'd like to write a bit about that, but first we want to get a few things out of the way quickly. How will we do that? Stan's Soapbox style update!

Item: We're not gloating, but you should know we are the proud new owners of a Sony PSP [pre-order slip]! We were talked down to quite a bit by our local EB boy as we expressed our interest in securing a PlayStation Portable at launch, but we refrained from letting the employee on staff know that our gaming knowledge is all encompassing. Further, we did not hint even once how refined our taste in Japanese gaming software has become over the years.

While we waited for the milquetoasty pale clerk to finish ringing up a husky ashen gentleman so we could place said pre-order, we overheard the following semi-paraphrased exchange.

Husky Ashen Gentleman: [Manager] fired me last week.
Milquetoasty Pale Clerk: He deleted you from the system just like a pre-order.
Heretofore Unmentioned Stout Customer: Damn, that sucks. You're like a patch that never made it into final code.

And... scene.

Item: We love our Nintendo DS for many reasons. But, the one we can think of right now is that it will provide us with the opportunity to play Nintendogs and put a poodle in a cowboy hat.

One word of caution regarding Nintendogs: Nintendo of America may do something moronic and rename this title Puppy Times. Make sure you tell them this would be gay.

Item: We recently discovered MUGEN, thanks to Matthew Hawkins post regarding this amazing piece of software. We won't go into the dirty details of MUGEN (or WinMUGEN) because we know you'll just spoil it for us like you did with MAME.dk.

Item: Speaking of fighters, Capcom has had the wisdom to add another chapter to the fascinating mythology of Anakaris, cursed pharoah mummy of Darkstalkers fame. Surprisingly, this new episode does not involve his royal deadness squaring off against succubi, but features his highness as the title character in a colorful cell phone puzzle game, Puzzle Anakaris: The Chaos Pyramid. We're itching to get our baby-soft hands on it, but we'll just fall in line with the rest of the drones and fire up our billionth game of Bejeweled.

Item: We'd like these Konami mecha toys please. Then we'd like someone to explain exactly what the fuck is going on there. We'd also like this Tyris Flare gashapon. And we like for you to stop laughing at us for collecting girl toys.

Item: Finally, we approach the Capcom Gamers Day situation. We should mention that we are very excited about the prospect of Gyakutan Saiban, the lawyer adventure game being reworked for the Nintendo DS. We must also mention that we are very excited about two other announced titles: the Mega Man X Collection and Capcom Classics Collection (please please please give us Forgotten Worlds). We'll cap off that excitement with total apathy toward every other game previewed at this event.

Capcom, picture us with a very serious, extremely concerned look on our face when we tell you this. You're boring us. This has to be the most exceedingly dull line-up we've seen since the EA 2005 release list from a few weeks back.

Where the fuck was Okami? We know that Clover's Viewtiful Joe 2 didn't sell very well, but this is no reason to hide the most important release of the year!

Some of us were really looking forward to hardcore wolf-nature-god adventuring, and you give us... Without Warning? This looks as dry as they come. We had almost completely tuned out by the time we read "this unique third-person action game", but we soldiered on. It wasn't until we reached the words "covert operations" that we had decided to write it off forever.

Please, look at how beautiful Okami is. Let us have more screenshots, wallpapers and movies. Then finish it. Then sell it to us for fifty dollars. Seriously, what's the problem? Do we really have to tell you how to run a business?

Thanks for visiting. We'll see you tomorrow for a very special pre-Valentine's Day entry.

Posted by geek