October 02, 2006

Tokyo Game Show - Even Worse Than E3!

Why do we go to this shit? You think it's going to be "fun" and that you'll be playing video games before everyone else and eating bean filled buns and drinking fun sodas and Fibe-Minis and getting massages from girls in short skirts that have Sega written on them. But it's more like this.

LOTS OF MOE HAIRCUTS

We're getting groped somewhere here.

Seriously, its just a sea of black haired IDIOTS carrying Blue Dragon bags as big as their apartments that you need to elbow off the Armored Core 4 kiosks to find out the game sucks like all the other ones. We didn't even play any video games for the first two days! :(

They wouldn't even let us play Sonic on the Wii which is the only game we wanted to play the whole time! And when you do get to play a game its after waiting in line for 30 minutes. Then it turns out you were waiting for this.

KITTIES R CUTE

WE COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT!

But it wasn't all bad. We went to Beams and bought an Every Extend Extra t-shirt.

BEAM CREAM

Kind of the best place ever.

And we went to WOMB where we saw Shinichi Osawa who's in Mondo Grosso who are in Lumines, so it was video game related.

And we ate at the upscale MosBurger with Brian Ashcraft. His hair still looks pretty good but he made us stay at a SHITTY HOTEL.

WORKING ON BURGER BELLY

Also fed on our dissatisfaction with our living quarters.

But then we had to "work" and got suckered into thinking that "4D" games would be really amazing. But it turns out you have to put on plain old 3D glasses and then they never explain how it's 4D because no one speaks English.

HARD DRIVIN' AGAIN?!

There was going to be a caption about Asian people driving but we already wrote "gay" twice in this post and the internet is sensitive.


And you go to the merchandise area and see things like this Rio cup which makes you sad.

SIPPY SUCKY

At first you think it might be fun and kitschy because she's obviously blowing that straw but if you drink out of it you're automatically gay because you have the other end of the mental penis in YOUR mouth now.

KICK PUNCH WANK

This is the kind of cross dressing we LIKE.

But there are some good cosplayers there. Like this Parappa. Even though she's built like a boy and we saw our share of depressing cartoon dog porn, we still managed to squeeze in a wank to this.

And LOTS to this.

NORMALLY NOT A HIRSUTE FETISHIST

We ALMOST made a post about how we hate Felicia cosplayers and are now glad we didn't.

But this Morrigan turned out to have a penis and not in a fun, sexy manga way. He did this unsettling flowy twist with his arms right before we took this picture and we started to worry he was doing some gay curse on us.

SHAVE THAT ADAM'S APPLE PLZ

8===D = :(

Still, we got to go to a lot of parties where people paid for us to eat their food and drink their alcohol and play their videogames.

BUT WE'RE NEVER GOING BACK. EVER.

Posted by geek